THE
POST
PATTERN
Published by the Impeccables since 1975 / Rebooted in 2022
Week 7 Edition
In our last edition, it was suggested that due to Green Bay's schedule, this young team would likely demonstrate growth over the coming weeks. On a related note, all of our readers can completely disregard any predictions we make in the future.
To kick things off this week we start with a couple of overdue announcements and then shift to updates from the picking competition after a brutal Week 7 for our pickers.
In this episode's version of "The Vault", we are witness to a first in Packer history...the first Monday Night Football game ever played at Lambeau Field. In the feature article, Hoofer demonstrates his command of the English language while continuing a running commentary on NFL cheerleading. We also see what tailgate planning entailed 40 year ago and close with some analysis on the state of the 1979 Packers.
In everyone's favorite section, the Buboltz kids have entered the fall Post Season and we have some exciting action to cover!
Finally...as we release this edition on October 24th, we'd like to celebrate the elder statesman of the Buboltz grandchildren...the one who kicked things off 46 years ago today! Please join us in wishing Collin Vanderhoof a happy birthday!
Not So Breaking News!
OK, let's be open with each other here. You don't rely on the Post Pattern for live, real time news. If you DID, you would be really late to the ballgame on some of the best news we've heard all year! On September 7th, while NFL fans were celebrating the kickoff to the new season in Kansas City, the De Pere Dubs were celebrating a kickoff of their own. Presley Jean Marie Dubs checked in to Week 1 of the season at 18 1/4 inches long and weighing 6 lbs 8 oz. We have no doubt brother Silas has already been teaching her how to submit her picks on time. Congratulations to Sadie and Jason!!
Steve Simmons Takes the Lead
We've had a very tight race all season so far, and through seven weeks of competition Steve Simmons enjoys the view from the top.
After a week that saw our pickers have their worst results of the season, Steve extended his lead in the Hall of Famers division to 4 picks over Doug. John Wilma leads the Packer Nation (yes, that sounds as weird as it looks on paper) division by one pick over wife Amy. In the juniors bracket, Blake continues to set the pace leading by one pick over cousin Madelyn. In our New Impeccables grouping, Nick has opened up a 4 pick lead over Bryce and Casey.
More Breaking News!
On the evening of October 12th, Lauren Kuchenbecker contacted the offices of the Post Pattern. Listed below is a play by play breakdown of the conversation:
Lauren: Guess what.
Post Pattern: Your mom is pregnant?
Lauren: No, guess again.
Post Pattern: You're moving to Madison and need to rent my basement?
Lauren: ...
After this banter, Lauren proceeded to share news that put a HUGE smile on my face...her mother, Jaclyn Keller was going to be a MOTHER IN LAW! While still digesting this exciting news, a second thought arose. The Post Pattern just gained another reader! Please join us in welcoming Sean Meyer to our readership. Congratulations Lauren and Sean!
One additional note...At last count there are still numerous unmarried great grandchildren. The rebooted Post Pattern has a very bright future.
Packers Fans Puckered
Since we last reported, the Green Bay Packers suffered consecutive losses to the Raiders and Broncos, who most analysts consider to be bottom tier clubs this season.
The temptation to write a scathing review of the team's performance the past few weeks is strong. If you have a social media account, your feeds are likely flooded with those takes so we'll spare our readers that misery. Instead we'll focus on what IS working for the Packers through their 2-4 start:
Dontayvion Wicks throws a good spiral.
Yosh Nijman has not given up a sack all year.
Love's sidearm to Doubs who tipped the ball to Reed worked just the way they drew it up.
While Axl Rose might propose that "all we need is just a little Patience", many Packer fans are struggling to listen. However, a few of our readers have pointed out GB is paying the piper for multiple years of going "all in" at the end of Rodgers career in GB. In an effort to win one last Super Bowl with Rodgers, GB kicked the proverbial can down the road on the salary cap. Now, between dead cap, IR, and inactive players, Green Bay typically has seen 40 to 50% of their salary cap not suiting up on game days. In other words, the team is effectively playing with one arm and a leg tied behind their back (which come to think of it is actually what the offense has looked like at times).
Whether it's the inconsistency of young players, coaching struggles, or front office decision making, there is plenty of blame to go around. Vince Lombardi, Reggie White, or Aaron Rodgers won't be coming through the doors of Lambeau Field to fix their problems. Hopefully this rebooted version of the Packers find their own playmakers to save the day.
Heard in the Crowd
Dontayvion Wicks needs the ball more. His ability to separate reminds our editor of a certain WR who recently left the Packers.
Why is Green Bay paying Yosh Nijman $4.3M to sit on the bench?
Joe Barry might still be unpopular in GB, but his squad has played well enough for Green Bay to be 4-2.
The Cousins Tailgate is still set for November 5th - see Uncle Rick for details.
Through Week 7, Green Bay holds the 7th pick of the draft. The last time GB drafted 7th they selected Sterling Sharpe, WR from South Carolina.
On a related note, Sterling Sharpe deserves to be in the Hall of Fame (stay tuned, this sounds like an article).
Flag Football will be an Olympic sport...the guys at BullsEye football truly were ahead of their time.
Packers Loss Costs Editor
When you manage a team of people covering a region, you're likely to encounter NFL fans from other teams. When the team you manage has people who live in Illinois, Minnesota, and Michigan, those fans are almost surely to root for our NFC North rivals.
In the 2000's, the Packers went 17-3 vs the Lions. Sadly for our editor, he did not make any bets with Lions fans in that decade. Unfortunately for him, he DID make a bet with a Lions fan on the results of this year's Packers/Lions contest. While a Lannister always pays his debts, our editor always pays his bets. On Monday's team meeting Zoom call, this image greeted the Check Point sales team when they logged in.
Letters to the Editor
I've narrowed it down to 3 things. 1) No one reads this newsletter. 2) You're all really big fans of Augsberger. 3) You actually WANT a Taylor Swift Gossip Column
None of these three options make sense to me. So I'll continue to hold out hope SOMEONE writes a letter to the editor that we can publish here. Just like Mundo and Coach Vanderhoof, I'm an optimist at heart.
